Saturday morning yard sale shoppers categorized

Greetings from the Ridge.

‘Tis the season but I’m not sure I’m quite up to it any longer. Time was there was nothing I enjoyed more than a sunny Saturday morning of visiting the various yard sales in our surrounding neighborhoods. It was good to chat with neighbors and new friends on their friendly, knickknack-strewn lawns, and more often that not it was the pleasant chats and greetings even more than the card-table bargains that gave the day of garage and yard sales a lift. It was a treat and a totally human experience. That was then, but this is now. The former friendly fellowship of cruising from sale to sale has been replaced by a whole new generation of buyers and to tell the truth, some of these people scare me. I don’t think that the phenomenon has been studied but I’ve been able to classify a few of the more prominent types. Like. . .

THE BLITZ BOMBER. This gal doesn’t shop so much as she attacks. Give her four hours, a three county area and a tankful of gas, and she’ll manage to carpet bomb every garage sale within range of her dual weapons of checkbook and clipped classified ads. Some of the more easygoing members of the yard sale profession skip idly from yard to yard with little thought of planning. Such is not the case with the Blitz Bomber who on a given Saturday morning will have been mapping out and strategizing her attack since the publication of Thursday’s newspaper. She knows all the shortcuts and her years of battle on the trail have given her a sixth sense when it comes to knowing which garages hold the choicest treasures and thus must be hit first and quickly before the common peasants arrive. The BB takes no hostages. It’s kill or be killed in the bargain bagging world and she has little remorse for those poor souls who simply poke along from sale to sale with no definite plan in mind. Some yard sale denizens take their children or grandchildren along for a pleasant morning of hunting and bonding. The Blitz Bomber’s children won’t even get in the car with her once she gets the yard sale look in eyes. They know better than to mess with mama when there are bargains to be had. On the other hand there’s the. ...IDLE BROWSER. &nbsp;&nbsp;<ahref=""><spanstyl... 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">To view more, please log in or subscribe to the digital edition.</span></a></p>