Roscoe Peabody: Coonridge’s nutcase
Greetings from the Ridge.
Every town should have a local nutcase, and our little town of Coonridge has bestowed that title upon Roscoe Peabody every year for the past half century. It was Roscoe who came up with the Roving Goats idea. He tried to sell the city council on a plan to buy a small herd of goats, some portable fencing, and move the goats through Coonridge yard by yard, thus alleviating our need to mow our lawns. This idea lasted until about Tuesday of the first week when the temperatures rose and the stench finally reached the mayor’s house. This scheme followed close on the heels of the Roscoe Peabody Self-Flushing Toilet. The first and only customer for this device spent most of the Christmas season in physical therapy. It was also Roscoe’s idea to give our town a Fourth of July bash that we’d never forget, and in that respect he was right. It’s not wise to set off two tons of fireworks while smoking a cigar. The town lost a dozen nice trees, Georgia Conkright’s back porch, and a fairly good-sized cat that night.