She was the hero of the third grade

Greetings from the Ridge.

I think it was the only social studies assignment I ever flunked. At least I think I flunked it. I know I at least bombed it royally.

The assignment was to find a relative who could tell me something about my family. I was in third grade and assumed since my grandpa was the oldest member of the family that he would be able to remember the most so I pedaled my bike down to his house after school, my Big Chief writing tablet and pencil in hand, plopped myself down in front of Grandpa’s recliner and started asking questions. Grandpa took a draw of his Prince Albert-filled pipe, said, “Well, let’s see. . .” and then he began.

According to Grandpa, his side of the family was descended from German nobility and somewhere on the limbs of our family tree hung various princes, kings, and potentates. I was amazed that Grandpa knew so much about the family, including the fact that we were descendants of Abraham Lincoln and there was a good chance that Moses himself lingered somewhere in our lineage. He went on to list various heroes of the Civil War, signers of the Declaration of Independence, and then hinted that our clan would figure prominently in the Second Coming. Hey, a third grader will believe anything her grandfather tells her, okay? I sucked it up, swallowed it whole, and wrote it down. Then I said, “Grandpa. . . what about Grandma’s side of the family?” &nbsp;&nbsp;<ahref=""><spanstyl... 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">To view more, please log in or subscribe to the digital edition.</span></a></p>