Ronald Crump, mayoral candidate

    Greetings from the Ridge.
    I endure my husband’s family reunions like a yearly medical exam as I look at Herb’s relatives and think I may have gotten the pick of the litter. Most of them are tolerable, but I guess that every family has one irritation that we manage to endure for a couple of hours every summer. In the case of the Crump family, it’s Ronald.
    Ronald Crump is probably the wealthiest man in town and if you aren’t aware of this when you meet him he’ll let you know within minutes. He’s a tall, brash blowhard who dominates every conversation and whose favorite subject is Ronald Crump. All of which could be forgiven if he’d not run for mayor a few years ago. Truth be known, Ronald Crump didn’t want to be mayor, but he was rich, bored, and loved being noticed.
    I blame our city council. They were a group of old poops who spent more time arguing than governing and Coonridge had developed such a distrust of our leaders that when Ronald came along promising to do everything many folks were suckered into his rhetoric. He ran on a platform of “Coonridge First!” claiming that our little German community had been too heavily infiltrated by the Irish and promising to build a tall fence around the town to keep them out. He claimed that many “immigrants” were scoundrels and liars although “there were a few good ones.” This flew in the face of the fact that some of these folks had been in the country longer than the Crumps and in many respects kept the town’s economy going.

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